I was on the phone to a friend and she mentioned something about the experience of being in a one parent household, she said “We need to make sure that we are healthy and fit so that we can physically take care of our children”. This instantly posed as a reminder to me and to the trueness of how real this was when you are single parenting. It may be thought that we should all know this but sometimes we forget and we get caught up with life.
Now, let’s be real; it’s no joke when you become unwell and you still have to find that strength to pick yourself up off of your bed and look after your children. You might have to do the school run, go shopping, do after school activities, clean the house and cook dinner; all in one day. Don’t let anybody come and tell you foolishness about ‘Who you are’ when you are climbing out of a bed that you know you should be staying in to get rest; this is just a small snippet of the many things we do. We can feel so weak when we are tired and physically weak from doing everything we can to make a good home for our children. We have used our pair of hands to do so much caring and our mouths to do so much consoling for our children. We are truly amazing women and men even if we do not think or feel it.
In my years of parenting I have seen just how important it really is to keep fit and physically strong but mentally as well. On days there can be so many obstacles that can hit you and it sometimes makes a day feel like you have been through a week, just in a few hours. We need to find the time to look after ourselves because we know that if we are physically and mentally drained; it doesn’t help our children. There have been so many days in the years that I have single parented that I have cried so many times because I thought “I just can’t do this!”. Most times I was already mentally drained and physically I was struggling; it’s not easy being Mum and Dad in one household. But I would like to say, I AM STILL HERE! And moving to new opportunities in my life, you are here with me; we are not just pressing on because we want the best for our children but also because we want the best for ourselves. YES, you deserve beautiful things to happen to you as well. It you are hoping for good things to happen in your life, please keep on believing; despite any hard days you may face. From one single parent to another “WE HAVE GOT THIS!”.
My children are a lot older now and my Son is in his teens, do you know I sometimes need to call him to open jars for me and he has taken over the duties of removing the spiders from the house. I absolutely dislike spiders and for years I had to feel the fear anyway and remove them. I believe God was trying to make me immune to them because there was a point in my house where I was finding them a bit more than normal and this made me tough on the process, to such a time that my son was older and he didn’t mind it; I mean this boy is not phased by them at all. I really thank God that he is happy to help in that way. Through the years I have seen how much things change with parenting in a home where a Dad is not present and there are times of great triumph and times where I have just wanted to ran away: nevertheless I am here for them as long as the purpose requires.
Let me briefly share with you about a time that I am laughing about now but at the time, I could not say I was laughing so much. So, I had been working really hard at getting my degree and caring for the children; one of them was in secondary school at the time and the other in the last year of primary school but with this; I didn’t really have as much time to take care of ‘me’ and this was not even an area of focus until one morning I was shouting for the children to come and help me. Do you know that my children had to roll me out of my bed because my back had locked and I could not stand up straight! I wasn’t taking care of my back while sitting writing all those essays and some people are just more prone to certain things with their bodies than others. What are you more prone to? Whether physically or mentally or both areas, please make sure that you love on YOU and spend time strengthening YOU because as age starts to creep in, our bodies are just not doing us like they use to before.
The assurance: You don’t need to find the strength for yourself, God is right with you; helping you if you allow him to. He is cheering you on and He knows that you will be the best ‘YOU’ for yourself and your children. Our job is to believe it and move in it!
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